A Letter to You: An Honest Look
- Osayi
- Sep 16
- 4 min read
Updated: Sep 17
September 16, 2025
Dear Friends,
I have been trying to convince you all that I'm merely human. I think I've succeeded at that.
Knowing that my privacy was violated, I’ve allowed many of you into my thoughts, my emotions, and my doubts. Why? Because I was placed on a pedestal I never asked to stand on. It made me deeply uncomfortable, especially when I encountered people who saw me as some sort of heaven-sent angel or modern-day embodiment of Christ. That grieved me.
I say this not out of ingratitude. I’m incredibly thankful for God’s favor and humbled that anyone would want to know more about Christ through me. But if I’m honest, at times it felt like idolatry, something I would never encourage.
I am human. I am flawed. I’ve said it, and I’ve shown it. Please believe it.
Some of you resented the attention I was receiving and felt the need to put an end to it. You launched a smear campaign in hopes of discrediting me, trying to prove my very ordinary humanity, except you did so through deception and harmful schemes. But, I suppose that your efforts, alongside mine, ultimately achieved the goal. I hope you can find rest now.
I’ve shared my testimony numerous times. But there’s a particular part of it that I don't normally include that made many uncomfortable. In 2020, I experienced what I can only describe as a “reset.” This wasn't my conversion experience, it wasn’t a mental or emotional shift, as some have assumed. But it was spiritual. In the year that a global pandemic would rip the band-aid of comfort for many, what stirred me was a deeper, spiritual reset brought about through deeper intimacy with Jesus.
In the months and years after, the Lord revealed much to me, especially concerning His body, the Church. During that time, my passion for the Gospel drew more attention, and with that attention came more scrutiny. And when my dreams and visions were revealed, the attacks on my character escalated. And honestly, they only confirmed the state of the world today, desperately in need of King Jesus.
The negative response wasn’t about the dreams. It was because I shared Jesus.
Because I was willing to sell everything and follow Him on mission which sounded foolish.
Because I had let go of every identity and attachment that wasn’t rooted in Him which sounded fictitious.
That shift in 2020 realigned my ambitions to one objective. All I wanted was more of Christ. And that was despised. It’s a strange thing to be both loved and fiercely hated for the same reason.
Since then, I admit there are times I've found myself trying to "prove" that I could fit into societal norms, but that didn't sit well with the authenticity I strive for in following God’s leading. That dissonance caused me to vacillate between two potential vocational and ministry paths.
As I sit here now, I find myself questioning:
Why am I pursuing a Master’s degree?
Initially, it made sense as a next step in ministry, not mandatory, but logical.
But if I’m being truly honest?
Lately, it feels like a reaction to opposition, a way to prove that I’m qualified and a credible witness for Christ.
And why do I sometimes feel guilty for not pursuing a lucrative business in place of a nonprofit?
Because of the narrative that says I’m failing my family, or disappointing those who would benefit from my perceived success.
But here’s what I know to be true:
I don’t need a Master’s degree to preach the Gospel.
I don’t need a church membership to validate my identity as a child of God.
And I certainly don’t need a lucrative business to be considered accomplished.
Those pursuits aren’t wrong, in fact they are very good things. But my identity and value isn't found in them, neither should they compete with my obedience.
My deepest desire is simple: to love others as I love myself. However the Lord leads me to do that effectively is the best way forward.
That will be my greatest accomplishment on this earth.
So, not that I need permission but I want to continue being me.
A competent, intelligent, and accomplished young woman who has been blessed to work hard for everything she owns.
A woman who, by God’s grace, experienced over a decade of career success in nursing.
But who ultimately chose the call to pivot unto something new, a path far less glamorous, but far more obedient.
Please hear me:
I am thankful to God that my life has inspired many of you to pursue your dreams and to pursue more of Christ. Even in the wake of the smear campaign and indecision that followed.
I am incredibly grateful that He would deem me a vessel fit for use, someone others would consider a role model.
And I’m beyond humbled that I’d be looked to for insight and perspective.
But I have no formula, no secret, no complex equation that attracts God's favour or a spiritual awakening.
The answer doesn't lie in human wisdom.
The answer lies in Christ Jesus.
Through His death, burial, and resurrection, He has made a way for you to draw near and learn from Him. Pursue Him through repentance and faith. He loves you deeply, and He will never hide Himself from those who seek Him earnestly, with a pure heart.
That’s the simple truth. That’s the invitation. And that is what I have to offer.
So, if you must look to me, know that I am not the standard. Don't look to me for greatness, or to compare your accomplishments to mine. Don't look to me to imitate me, you have your unique qualities-celebrate them! Instead, look to Christ. Whatever light you see in me is because of what He is accomplishing in this finished work in progress-HE is glorious! And if you want to partner with Him, come alongside as a fellow servant of Christ to make Him known by loving others-those who know Him and those who don't.
Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. (1 John 4:7)
With love and sincerity,
Osayi
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